


Indirect Approach

by Notadate (sixbeforelunch)



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-08-22
Updated: 2008-08-22
Packaged: 2017-10-07 05:07:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/61710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sixbeforelunch/pseuds/Notadate
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Sometimes it takes a special approach with you, Daniel."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Indirect Approach

"Sign this."

Daniel looked up from the most recent edition of the _International Journal of Applied Linguistics_ and saw Vala holding out a Live Specimen Authorization Form and a bright pink pen with a several feathers attached to the end.

"What's this?"

"Just sign it."

"I don't sign things I haven't read."

"Yes you do. Just yesterday Sam came up to you with a clip board and told you to sign and you didn't even look at her when you did."

"Well, first, it was the last of the month and that's when Sam and I both have to sign off on the requisition for supercomputer use for the coming month. And, second, I trust Sam not to trick me into signing away my left kidney."

"You really think I would do that?"

There was just enough genuine hurt in Vala's voice that Daniel said, "No. Probably not." He took the form from her. "Seriously, what is this?"

"I'd like to bring some things back through the gate. Some...living things. Well, one living thing."

"I thought we had this conversation. It really wouldn't be fair to get a pet that would be left alone all the time."

"I know. I've decided I don't need a cat. I came up with a better idea."

Daniel looked at the form. It was written in pink ink. He had to turn on his desk lamp to read it. Under the place where Vala had written her name, serial number, and department ID, there was a block of text in large bold letters.

*Note that before bringing any live specimens through the stargate, you MUST obtain the signature of one of the following:  
Base Commander or Acting Base Commander  
Chief Medical Officer  
Senior Military Research Scientist  
Senior Civilian Research Scientist

Vala pointed to the last item on the list. "That's you."

"I know that, thank you."

Daniel skimmed past the standard planet of origin information and down almost to the bottom of the page.

_Attempt, as best as possible, to define species according to existing Taxinomic ranks:   
Kingdom: Animalia  
Phylum: Chordata  
Class: Mammalia  
Order: Primata  
Family: Homindae  
Genus: Homo  
Species: Sapien_

Daniel glanced up. "The species is homo sapien."

"That's redundant. The genus is Homo"

"I know, but the species is still—" Daniel stopped and looked at the form again. "A human. You're filling out a Live Specimen Authorization Form for a human?"

"Sure, why not?"

"Oh, I don't know, maybe because on the next page there's a three paragraph statement that you have to sign asserting that you have taken all reasonable care to make sure that this specimen is not possessing in self-awareness sufficient to constitute sentience according to our understanding of the concept and that, if at any time you begin to suspect that the creature may have a form of self-awareness, you will stop work and inform your superior immediately."

"You quote that very easily."

"I should, I wrote it."

"I thought you might have. You waxed very poetic on the concept of the soul."

Daniel sighed. "Vala?"

"Well, it's not exactly a human. I mean, it is, but it's not a sentient human, if you know what I mean."

"Let's pretend I don't."

Vala picked up the plastic snowglobe on the edge of his desk and shook it. She held it to Daniel's desk lamp and watched fake snow and glitter fall on a plastic Lincoln Memorial. "I cloned you."

Daniel set the form down. "You cloned me?"

"Yes. The Asgard cloning technology is making it out into the galaxy, you know." She held up a finger. "And don't get all righteous. It's not aware. It's just an empty shell. A pretty boy. None of your intelligence which, admittedly, will make it a little less fun to play with, but I'll get by."

"So what's the plan? Keep it locked in the closet?"

"Oh, I'll think I can arrange for a room. It's really perfect. He'll be able to feed and take care of himself when I'm not home. He'll keep the house clean. Iron. Wash the dishes. Rub my feet. And take care of my more...carnal desires on an as needed basis. And I think he'll be very needed since the person who is currently in charge of seeing to my carnal desires spends all of his time reading."

"Uh huh." Daniel pushed his glasses up and rubbed his eyes. "You know, if you wanted to go home, you could have just said so."

Vala hopped off the edge of the desk and walked around to where Daniel was sitting. She sat down on his lap. "Sometimes it takes a special approach with you, Daniel." Daniel put his arms around her waist and kissed her neck. Vala picked up his left hand and ran her finger around his gold wedding band. "Take me home and ravish me?"

"Special approach, huh?"

"Very special."

"Hmm."

end


End file.
